something had to give...


Two wonderful reminders of natural consequences.

Last Wednesday, in between my tears of frustration I sat in my new nutritionist's office as she told me that mine are exhausted... and if they were feeling what I was feeling, then no shit.  

I've been gaining weight, my hormones were out of whack (hello random chin hair), short tempered, my muscles achy, my skin was dull and wrinkly, and I've been mentally and physically exhausted.  

I feel/felt broken.

I feel/felt old.

She looked at me with deep compassion and said:  "Jen, you HAVE to change your lifestyle.  If you don't, I can't help your body heal... no matter what you eat. "  

Damn it.

Can't you just tell me to eat vegan or paleo and I'll be better? I don't have time...
...  I felt my low back and shoulder ache... like "aching in the bones" ache and my brain started to swirl...

Nope.  I am in.  Fully in.

It is ironic I got to this point.  I know what to do and why to do it.  I mentor a large team, and am known to preach self care. It's kinda my thing.  I know that success thrives when you thrive and self care is the magic that makes it stick.   I LOVE talking about it and actually I love implementing self care (who wouldn't?), but the past few months (year) I haven't acted in a way to fully support my body because of that lame old excuse... "Who has the time!?"  And probably more accurately the head talk of... "Who are you?  You're not worth it."

Tonight... cool night, crickets chirping, my girls laughing downstairs.

  • hot bath with epsom salt, Himalayan sea salt, baking soda and patchouli.
  • turmeric, Uncle James' honey, lemon oil face mask... (my bathtub is now yellow)
  • gentle reclined twists and deep forward folds before I sat in meditation using the Insight Timer app
  • reading Glennon Doyle Melton's Carry On, Warrior (I thought I was ordering her new book, Love Warrior.. but God knew I needed to read this one. )
  • sipping on water purified with Miyabi charcoal sticks with a few drops of Trace Minerals.