rumi starts the day...

Lately, I've wanted to scream NO!!! and run away from what I know I need to do next. My bones feel like jelly and my heart races. I want to run from the vulnerability that is required to show up fully in the world. But... something gets to me and I don't. I keep on...
.. because I recognize I'm ready. 
Seclusion is no longer feeling right even though this new way of being is super uncomfortable and scary...

On April 1, I started showing up as the real messy raw me, and instead of the slamming closed doors I was expecting, I found doors beginning to open. Some just a crack - as if someone on the other side just turned the handle and let the door breathe open a sigh. 
Exhale and step forward.

april 1...

A quick review of what I learned one year completely sober...

... what other people think of me really is none of my damn business.

... I only require my own approval.

... Rumi was right... the cure for the pain is in the pain.

... a happy life is all about unconditional love and forgiveness.

... the answers are found in meditation, not in the bottle of wine.

... being an awesome mama and wife is way easier with a clear head.

... I am not alone in this life.  God and my angels have my back... 100%.

uncovering...

Today was all about uncovering... digging deep and sifting through lies and stories to find truth. Owning my part... humbly.   Creating lists of forgiveness.  Arguing with the brat inside me that protests when I follow my inner knowing and serve my highest good.  That is the reality.  My acts of self compassion and love take daily effort.  I am constantly releasing the shame and feelings of unworthiness.

This Tuesday night involves reading and taking notes, Peace oil on my wrists, legs up the wall and listening to this Spotify playlist.  

rest and recalibration...

Just got home from our doTERRA annual convention... where everything was GO GO GO!  I didn't eat as well as I planned, but I did stay hydrated.  I slept so soundly and deeply, continued with my meditation practice and made sure I stretched morning and night... so I am feeling better than expected.  

The rejuvenation that comes with convention and being surrounded by my people is a great pay off for the lack of meal planning.  As long as it doesn't happen often, I am ok with it.

The past two days I've been in rest and recalibration mode.  Soup and tea, laying in the grass with the sunshine on my skin.  Cuddling my family tight.  I am also taking stock of what is working and what isn't.  Holding tight to my boundaries, assessing my options, making clearer plans.

Did you know that the universe loves clarity?  

It does.  The clearer you are about what you want, the more likely it is to occur.  That has been my experience. So get clear, really clear on what you want.  Let go of thinking about what you don't want... that is a waste of energy.  Plus, why would you want to put what you don't desire out into the world? 

Today looked like this:

  • tea and soup
  • Patchouli, Tangerine and Douglas Fir in the diffuser
  • sunshine and barefeet
  • introducing some of my favorite customers to our new products
  • website work
  • bath and new face mask
  • hip opening yin yoga 
  • meditation to open heart chakra
  • water with lemon oil and trace minerals

releasing...

Today is usually a harder day... though remembering tragedy often reminds me to live more intentionally from love.  

Self care looked like this today...

  • slowing down and noticing... my daughter's expressions, the clarity in the sky, the deep reverence in a simple ritual of homemade soup for lunch
  • meditation
  • releasing shame & guilt with energy work and an oil protocol
  • yoga with my family this morning
  • consuming a lot of water with lemon oil and trace minerals
  • honey and vitamin c face mask tonight
  • turning off phone at 8pm
love.jpg

for the fun of it...

Today was hot with super intense sun.  Bees in the borage as I weeded and drenched the red maple with chelated iron.  I realized it is really hard for me to relax without an expectation of checking something off my to do list... even if it is doing things that I love to do.  

What happened to fun for the sake of fun?  
... or at least, relaxing for the sake of sanity?

  • One hour of deep poses targeting gall bladder meridian
  • Made a huge pot of super awesome chicken broth... the kind that fully gels in the fridge.
  • Cypress oil on my legs
  • Time puttering in the garden
  • Legs up the wall a few times
  • Meditation in silence